Ordering “Animal Style” on Lufthansa

Ordering off the secret menu aboard LH 440.

The fast food chain In-and-Out Burger is justly famous for its (open) secret menu, never published but known to all. “Animal fries,” for instance, are slathered in melted cheese, dressing, and grilled onions. Lufthansa boasts its own secret menu, Tommy had insisted on the flight from JFK to FRA, “these hot dogs — an excellent German wurst.” He was disappointed to learn they were only available on flights bound to America, as U.S. Customs forces LH to toss the sausages out before the flight home.

Before picnicking upstairs on the FRA-IAH leg, he tried again, as did I. It turns they’re not so much off-the-menu as off the children’s menu, as I learned when the flight attendant who laughed at the request. But she gamely served me some — the pair of hot dogs, rolls, and mustard packet pictured seen here. They weren’t so much a fine wurst as perfectly serviceable hot dogs eaten awkwardly between the bread. Tommy took greater satisfaction in his. “It’s Animal Style, only in business class!”

Meanwhile, on Swiss…

You may recall that while the majority of Mega DO participants flew Lufthansa JFK-FRA, a handful opted to transit via ZRH, VIE (and in one case, GVA) on LX and OS. How were their flights? I have yet to meet either of the pair who opted for OS, but I do have a pair of trip reports from LX. After dropping $2,800 on a refundable gate pass to enter Lufthansa Senator Lounge at JFK, Pat hopped the AirTrain from Terminal 1 to Terminal 4. Upon entering the Swiss lounge (which is land-side), he was greeted by the head of U.S. PR, who took him on a tour of the first class lounge and then helped clear an entire lane of security for him to pass through. The flight to ZRH in business class was outfitted with fully lie-flat beds, and upon arrival he was taken to lunch by the head of operations, which blew Pat away. After lunch, he was driven to his plane. “I have to call about my miles because they never scanned my ticket!” he says.

Meanwhile, Marty booked himself on JFK-GVA-FRA and apparently fell through the cracks, as Swiss was unaware of his presence. So what is it like when they don’t roll out the red carpet? “The Swiss flight was great… in the air,” said Marty, obviously hesitating. “The lounge was better than advertised, and the service was fantastic. But there was a slight delay in Geneva, and when I got here, they had decided to send my luggage on to Rome. So I was an hour late at baggage claim while retrieved my luggage from the Rome flight, and by then the Welcome lounge was closed.” The lesson, as always: being on the official roster of a Star Mega DO makes every flight better.

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