Ordering “Animal Style” on Lufthansa

Ordering off the secret menu aboard LH 440.

The fast food chain In-and-Out Burger is justly famous for its (open) secret menu, never published but known to all. “Animal fries,” for instance, are slathered in melted cheese, dressing, and grilled onions. Lufthansa boasts its own secret menu, Tommy had insisted on the flight from JFK to FRA, “these hot dogs — an excellent German wurst.” He was disappointed to learn they were only available on flights bound to America, as U.S. Customs forces LH to toss the sausages out before the flight home.

Before picnicking upstairs on the FRA-IAH leg, he tried again, as did I. It turns they’re not so much off-the-menu as off the children’s menu, as I learned when the flight attendant who laughed at the request. But she gamely served me some — the pair of hot dogs, rolls, and mustard packet pictured seen here. They weren’t so much a fine wurst as perfectly serviceable hot dogs eaten awkwardly between the bread. Tommy took greater satisfaction in his. “It’s Animal Style, only in business class!”

Overheard on SMD2010: JFK-FRA edition

“Which would you prefer: the smiling flight attendant who brings you food you don’t really like, or the unsmiling flight attendant who brings exactly what you want?”


“There’s no such thing as no sex or flying after sixty. There’s just less of the former and more of the latter.”


“We’re glad they’re adding an AARP section to the DO this year.”


(To Greg, who wore pajamas on the flight) “Do you have your teddy bear?”

“Is the purser going to tuck you in later?”


(In the LH Welcome Lounge, the plum sauce has been labeled “Plump sauce.”) “I would stay away from that if I were you.”

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